Escalofrio (1977)

A beautiful couple meet people who seem to be distant college friends and are invited to their country mansion. Once there, the couple slowly find out their hosts are Satanists.

Now, I'm not going to lie to you. This is a eurotrash sexploitation flick. In fact, it was one of the first films to pick up Spain's "S" (Sex) label that was instituted after Franco's death. What makes the movie above the rest is the constant atmosphere of something that isn't right. And while this was considered a hard core horror movie, the slim budget used to make the picture gave them no room for very little gore. This gave them more interest and time to concentrate on disturbing imagery.

That being said, there are some weaknesses to the movie. Mainly it didn't know what version of "Satanism" it wanted to be. One minute it's cribbing LeVey, another minute Alistair Crowley, then it goes Dennis Wheatley, then it's Montague Summers, Catholic texts and rhetoric, Mad Magazine. By the end of the movie, it's so all over the place, you need to take an aspirin just to recover from it.

This leads us to another weakness. I don't think the director, Carlos Puerto, knew what the hell he was doing. I think he wrote out my first paragraph of this review and just went with it. "Mariana! We need you to look more terrifying! Stoop over that bowl and pretend to eat like a dog! WAIT! Someone get some blood goop on her lip. Yeeessss. Very nice. Ok. Ready! Camera! ACTION!!" I mean it's almost ridiculous. He trys to get too much in so little time. It just bunches up and falls over itself.

All in all, it's a nice film to own. Something to watch on Sundays or days that seem to drag on. Not a classic by any means, but fun none the less. Plus you can wank to it.

Two and a half stars.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

A British squadron finds themselves in a bit of trouble when an exercise goes wrong thanks to the appearance of werewolves.

This is a very solid movie. Lot's of action. Lot's of characterization. Keeps you riveted every minute and on the edge of your seat. Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd & Liam Cunningham really make the characters work. They have a nice supporting cast as well.

It's basically like Evil Dead. A great evil in the wilderness taking out people stranded in the middle one by one. One of the major points that makes it work is that the production crew opted to make the werewolves out of men in suits instead of CGI. A bold move seen by the movie community. But really, how is this a bold move? When you see a CG werewolf, are you going to say "That's a Fuckin Werewolf!! Get Me The Fuck Away!!"? No. You're going to say "My god. That's some nice computer animation." By opting for MiS tactics, not only does it give the movie a level of believability, but it saves them a lot of money so they can buy blood and guts. Something the film community fails to understand.

All in all, this a great movie that will find itself in the classics pile as well as considered one of the best Werewolf movies ever. See this with friends or at a party. It's also great to watch home...alone.

Three stars.

Chrome And Hot Leather (1971)

"Gabriel.... Gabriel, can't you see we're menacing someone?"

A Green Beret returns home to find out that his fiancee has been murdered by a biker gang. He gathers his friends and fellow members of his platoon set out undercover to find the gang and bring them to justice.

As a revenge movie, this is very clinical. It's like watching Col Sam Flagg from MASH get a bunch of his buddies together, get bikes and clothes they think biker gangs wear and try to infiltrate them. If I were a real biker, I'd play along and lead them the wrong way. There are real Wingtip Hippie moments.

Speaking of biker gangs, if you want your biker gang to look mean, you don't have the lead biker (played by William Smith) say "Maybe we should wait for the cops!" after one of your bikers run a car off the road. William Smith really tried to make his character at least look mean, but you end up liking the guy. I mean it. You're rooting for William to really rough up Tony Young's character. The guy is as square as he gets! Hit him Will!!

This all leads up to the climax of Biker vs. Green Beret in a series of canyons. Well...really it's more like bikers go to the canyons to have fun and get ambushed by Green Berets with tear gas followed by edged hands and really ridiculous punches. Seriously, if you wanted a slam bang climax, wouldn't it be wise to at least give the bikers a chance to at least throw one punch? If the message this movie was conveying was biker gangs are bad, it failed miserably. It more likely told the audience that Green Berets are dicks.

The only good parts in this movie besides William Smith is the subplot with Gabriel, the pinball wizard and Marvin Gaye playing a Green Beret (I'm a poet and don't know it!). This movie is pretty much something to watch on a Sunday when nothing on and you don't want to go back to bed.

I give this two stars.