Entre Tinieblas (1983)

A nightclub singer is on the run after accidentally killing her boyfriend. She finds herself at the doors of a failing convent where the nuns have habits of their own to bide the time. Soon, the singer finds herself in the middle of a hair brained scheme for a last chance effort in getting the convent funded.

A beautiful little movie by Pedro Almodovar. I really liked it. It's a movie that's a lot about acceptance. Acceptance of your past, your faults, your talents and even your future. I also like how the nuns where handled. They're usually handled in an evil light as dirty sinful creatures. In this movie, their treated like you and I. We know they're plight and we're sympathetic to what's going on with them. You can't get a convent for wayward women going and your hands are tied thanks to church and law. Are you going to pray and suffer all day until someone plops on your doorstep? Hell no! It's better to use the time throwing wrists and writing trashy novels while trying to take care of the place. And we relate to that.

I wouldn't recommend giving this movie to people just starting out on Almodovar. This isn't an Almodovar virgin movie. A lot of his personal touches and color schemes might look gaudy at first, but it was the sign of the times really. The comedy is real subtle as well. You're not going to get some of the setups or scenes until you really think about them after a while. i mean, I'm thinking of the movie and I just now got the joke on a couple of things. So, if you want to start on Almodovar. Start at the top. That's an order soldier.

The disc is barebones. It only gives you the option of subtitles. It has some good audio and video. Do I wish it had more? Well yeah. Almodovar didn't think this was one of his high ranked pictures. Probably because it was his first studio picture and he felt very restricted at the time. It's a nice disc. Pick it up when you have a chance.

three stars.

Nasty Habits (1977)

A election for convent abbess in Philadelphia turns ugly when a bungled attempt at theft turns into blackmail, slander and uncovers a severe case of wiretapping.

This movie was a comedy built out of the affects of the Watergate Scandal. Most of the events reflect that. While this parody is good, I can't help but feel this movie hasn't aged well. I mean the comedy is great and all, but some of the tricks of camera and editing seem to date it. Not that it's a bad thing and all. The cast is wonderful with help from Eli Wallach, Jerry Stiller, Ann Meara (she'll always be our Gerald Ford now.) and Rip Torn even if some of them were on screen for at least a minute..

With that being said, I would not recommend this movie to someone who is a casual fan or who's just starting out to be part of the hardcore movie fanbase. While even though I'm young, I think I know where the comedy is coming from and going, but for someone who hasn't grown up around it, it can be quite baffling. Also, no one knows who all these characters portray these days. No one can point out who was Ford or who was Nixon or even G. Gordon Liddy for that matter. While the editing and the camera techniques do age it, I think that the story ages it as well. This was one of those movie that was made because it was "A good idea at the time." The problem being "...at the time". it was made on the fly to not reflect but to capture a moment. I don't fault the director or production company though. It was a hip thing at the time.

Nothing to report about the DVD. It's bare bones. The video and audio both seem to be ripped of a VHS tape. Rent this if you want to.

Two and a half stars.

Suor Omicidi (1978)

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Alucarda, La Hija de Las Tinieblas (1978)

Two orphan girls journey into an abandoned crypt and suddenly become possessed by an evil spirit. They then dwelve into devil worship and terrorize the convent they call home.

Now first of all, a lot of people like to call Alucarda a derivative and member of the Exorcist line of horror movies. It's not. What the director, Montezuma, was trying to do was reinvent Dracula and the vampire myth. Instead of the immortal euro trash male with fangs and a real thirst of blood, we got a "heliophobic demon." possessing two young girls. Even before the party gets started, we are introduced to Alucarda who comes off as somewhat of an emotional vampire who feeds off those around her. It's a really interesting picture. It was very atmospheric. Great use of locations as well.

What really makes the film work is the actors. Tina Romero really creeps up the place as Alucarda. Before and after being possessed. Someone who feeds of emotions, You can somewhat say she's a bit bipolar. She plays the character full to the hilt. You also got the great Claudio Brook doing double duty as the good doctor and what could be the villain. I'm not sure. Brook reminds me of some of the Hammer guys like Lee and Cushing. His acting is very natural. You think he's just part of the film. A true master.

The Mondo Macabro disc is Divine. It comes with a small documentary about Montezuma, a biography, a filmography, a Montezuma interview, an interview with Guillermo del Toro about how Montezuma influenced him, stills and a kick ass trailer. This disc is a fracking treasure trove. The only complaint is that there is a slight hum in the audio. It's not annoying. just there. But an awesome DVD none the less.

three and a half stars.

Seiju Gakuen (1974)

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Flavia, La Monaca Musulmana (1974)

Flavia, daughter of a nobleman, finds herself in a convent, forced to become a nun. After an escape attempt goes sour, she plans her revenge against mankind and seeks a way out of her enslavement, even when it comes at a high cost.

To say this is an euro exploitation movie is an understatement. While it does make time for the explicit gore, the film is well thought out and the characters are well developed. The story takes somewhat of a feminist feel, but given the times this movie characterizes, it's not as preachy as it seems. Florinda Bolkan really makes the title character her own. I mean she totally runs the ball. She makes you feel the oppression she's felt. The film is beautifully shot. Even the surreal and explicit scenes felt like they have a place. And the music. The music is very good. It's really works with the movie and without. I found myself humming a few bars.

What's the downside of the film? Well, besides the real horse castration (God, that hurts just typing that. Look away guys. Look away. I'll be ok. Gimme a sec.). Besides the c-word on a male horse, it did feel a bit overdrawn somewhat. Now, I know everything needed to be set up correctly, but I was finding myself nodding midway through. Not a good sign.

Synapse does a great job cleaning up and putting together the full movie on DVD. The audio and video defiantly gets high marks. The cool thing is they didn't brighten the colors. They were supposed to be washed out. That's how it was filmed. They also added a posters and stills gallery that's nice. There's also an interview with Ms. Bolkan on how the filming process was and where she was taking the character. This a good DVD that Nunsploitation fans need and general film fans can have as a proud part of the collection.

minus the horse castration.

Three and a half stars.

È Tornato Sabata... Hai Chiuso Un'altra Volta (1971)

Sabata returns to America as a "Shoot artist" and teams up with an old war buddy to find out if a robber baron with the penchant to tax everything under the sun is actually using the money for city improvement or lining his own pockets.

As the poster says, "The Man With The Gun Sight Eyes Is Back". Van Cleef returns to the role he made and relishes every moment of it. This movie almost out trumps the Wild, Wild West series. The only thing that holds it back a bit is the legitimacy of the palm pistol. that gun is Bad Azz. No "s"s, "z"s. That's how bad ass that gun is. Over the top action. Total popcorn. loved every minute of it.

With all that being said, I'd like to say that this movie had the same set up as the first two. "A little help for my friends except one can double cross me at any moment." Doing that twice is forgivable. Doing that three times can cause damage to a possible franchise. They tried to make to make the movie more interesting by adding a few more twists and turns, but painting a few extra colors on a peacock doesn't make the peacock any more special. It's still a peacock. I mean really, I can do the same review for all three of these movies, but it wouldn't be fun for me or you now would it? You'd be quite annoyed about it. other then that, it's a pretty solid popcorn flick. leave your mind at the door. it's fun.

As always, this box set was not up to par. The only good thing I do have to say about it is that the audio is great and the video is very nice. It's cleaned up nice yet hasn't lost it's age. I like stuff like that.

Three stars.

Indio Sabata (1971)

Sabata hangs out in Mexico, helping the people fight Maxmillian's men. He sets out with men to find the Austrian war chest so that they can supply Mexico's army.

This was supposed to be a stand alone movie, but with the "Sabata" name was a big sell, so they packaged the movie around it. Yul Brynner takes Van Cleef's place and he totally makes the character his own. That's good and bad in a way, I think. It's a comic book western in a way. It's fun, no need for thought and very colorful. This is a total popcorn movie. Anything totally out there is in this movie.

I think the problem with this movie is that it's almost the same movie as Sabata. All that made it different was a few extra characters. Brynner's Sabata is totally different then Van Cleef's. If the company was pushing these two as the same guy, it's totally wrong. If I were to sell this, I'd sell it more as the characters are different and the only thing that links them is the name Sabata. Like the Sabata family, y'know? It totally devolves into one mess of a gunfight. Nothing wrong with that, just that after a while, it's gets a bit long.

As I said in the first installment, this is a box set that could have put out a little something special for the fans, but MGM totally drops the ball on it. Get this if you want to, but wait for a better substitute.

Two and a half stars.

Eh, Amigo...C'e Sabata, Hai Chiuso! (1969)

After stopping a major theft of army funds, a gunfighter and his two down and out friends blackmail the high society for orchestrating the theft so that they may buy off land to establish a railroad company.

One of the more outlandish spaghetti westerns. This is the movie where Lee Van Cleef shines through. His opus. The character that makes him big. While the movie is mostly tongue and cheek, Cleef gives it a seriousness needed for it. The camera work is great. The characters are interesting, including Banjo, played by William Berger. He really gives the character the opportunist edge he needs.

The real big problem I had with the movie is the first say...half hour felt convoluted. Like I was supposed to be in on the inside joke and I missed it somewhere. I literally watched the movie a couple times to see if I was missing anything. Some people might not like how it turns into Sabata vs. hitman for the most of the movie, it's still very good. But yeah, I can see the repetitiveness of it. I do wished there were more twists and turns. They also really picked the wrong wig for Alleycat. It totally looked fake.

What really pisses is me off is that this is one part of a trilogy box set. You'd think they'd add maybe a Sabata retrospective showing how the movies inspired folk, maybe interview people who were part of the movies or even maybe a Lee Van Cleef memorial. None of that is there. You do get some subtitle and language tracks and that's it. Other then trailers for MGM's new releases and a stupid ass PSA telling kids not to rip off their shitty movies. Who in the hell under the age of twenty five is going to watch the Sabata Trilogy to see that. Get this for your collection if you want it, but hope for a better substitute. This st sucks.

3 stars

Vamos A Matar, Companeros! (1970)

An arms dealer finds himself smack dab in the middle of two fighting revolutionary forces during the Mexican Revolution. In order to receive payment, he must travel to America to bring back the feuding revolutionary leader, who holds the combination to the bank safe his payment is in. Followed by a headstrong bandit and a former acquaintance looking for payback, the dealer heads for the border.

In my opinion, this has got to be Corbucci's most subversive picture. A lot of people don't know this, but spaghetti westerns have may archetypes. Usually the more popular one is The Man With No Name, which was started by Toshiro Mifune and was pioneered by Clint Eastwood. In this movie, you got the Budding Revolutionary, which was usually played at the time by Tomas Milian. He's somewhat the spiting image of Che Guevara which always gives him this kind of role. You also got the Happy Go Lucky Opportunist. He's the easy going type that always waits for a chance to fall on his lap. This was helmed by Terrance Hill, but in this movie, is played by Franco Nero. It's really a departure of the grim characters he's played before, usually based on Django. Also, you got to give it to Jack Palance. I never knew there was a way to play an Irish stoner mercenary with an itch for revenge. I didn't even know it was possible. Jack pulls it off as well as he can. And of course, we have the Morricone soundtrack making it's presence known.

I think what Corbucci was doing with this film is he was showing people the extremes o revolution and then telling us we gotta keep a level head when we want to bring forth revolution. With one side represented by Mongo, Revolution is an exploitable commodity where only the strong and the one with the most guns survive. Surviving on fear and slaughter. On the other side is Prof. Xantos who represents pacifism and a Gandhi-like non violence. This way is well intentioned, but being docile and cowardly only leaves you dead. Revolutions die quicker that way. This is greatly pointed out when Xantos scolds those who saved him from the firing squad. A very powerful scene at that.

The DVD is part of a bigger box set put out by Anchor Bay. It's cleaned up good visually and though some parts of the audio was lost, the audio dub is well too. The disc also has a fifteen minute conversation with Nero, Milian and Morricone about the film as well as the trailer. Western fans need this movie and it will be a jewel in the collection of the regular movie fan.

4 stars.



(With Milian's Face To Face)

Il Mio nome e Nessuno (1973)

A retired gun slinging lawman is heading for a ship to Europe. In order to get there, he must accept a request from a fanboy of his. Make a name for himself and have a showdown with 150 men.

Six words. Henry Fonda. Sergio Leone. Spaghetti Western. Even though Leone's fingerprints aren't on the movie (he produced), he was a large presence. Terence Hill as the easy going Nobody and Fonda as the old and wise Jack Beaumont, have a nice chemistry together and do well in this movie, which is pretty much a deconstruction of the genre in an "end of the West" motif. Morricone has batted three for three. Awesome soundtrack. Especially Nobody's theme. Sound plays a part of the movie and should be accredited.

I think the only problem with it is that the conflict wasn't played as hard as it was. I mean yeah, The Wild Bunch were 150 purebred sumsabitches on horses....and? They were more likely props for Jack to kill. Other then seeing them ride, what really made them onery and mean? Even though the film was about hero worship and it is set up as a deconstruction of the genre, isn't it better to have the antagonist do something mean? Even just for a little bit? Just thought I'd point that out. A little qualm I've had.

Even though the DVD is barebones, the video is excellent and the audio is beyond awesome. Western fans will love this. General movie fans, get it when you can.

3 stars.

The Ballad of Cable Hogue (1970)

After being left to die in the middle of the desert, a prospector miraculously finds water and with the help of a prostitute and a wayward preacher, does well for himself. This does not sate his thirst of vengeance on the men who left him to day and he waits for his chance encounter.

This is considered Peckinpah's most underrated picture as well as his favorite. It is helped with a wonderful Goldsmith score and great cinematography as well. Jason Robards plays the very stubborn prospector as well as augment David Warren and Stella Stephens as well. the script, which is a tribute to the entrepreneur as well as the end of the West, is very well constructed.

What really gets me though is that it feels reeeaaallllyyyy llloooonnnggg. You get to feel like you're sitting for three hours watching this thing. As much as I like Peckinpah, I think I paused the movie at the hour thirty mark just to get circulation in my legs again and get some food. Again, much love for Sam, I love his work, I think he could have brought it together a wee bit tighter. Maybe it's me though.

The DVD is tight! Audio and visual is great. The package includes an interview with Stella Stephens and commentary from Peckinpah biographers Nick Redman, Paul Seydor, Garner Simmons and David Weddle (that's a lot of biographers. I hope I get that many.). Hardcore Western fans need to pick this up.

Three and a half stars.

I Quattro dell'ave Maria (1968)

Two bounty hunters make the big score and are set to retire until they're robbed by a bandit hellbent on taking revenge on those who hung him out to dry. The hunters pursue the bandit and later join his quest.

Y'know, I was sitting and watching this thing and I seem to have the feeling that I've seen this movie before. I couldn't place it at first. I thought for a bit and then I figured it out. This was a bass ackward version of Da Uomo A Uomo but without the angsty young guy wanting to take revenge for his family. I guess Eli Wallach was supposed to be both Van Cleef's and Law's character. It just really seem to be some lazy script writing with stars in it to me.

Another thing that gets to me is that you got Terence Hill. You got Bud Spencer. You'd think they would play this as a Trinity movie, right. Nah. We got Hill doing his best Eastwood impersonation. Then I realized that this was their first collaborative effort. Even then if they were following a trend, Hill really can't do Eastwood. Franco Nero maybe. Not Eastwood. As I've said already, the script is just a plagiarized version of another movie. That's lazy. It also looks like Eli trying to pull of a Tuco-like character, but you know it's Tuco none the less. The only bright spot in acting has to be Brock Peters who does well as Tom, the tightrope walker.

The DVD isn't anything to write home about. The video is ok. Sound is great. Other then that, it's pretty barebones. Not even a trailer. Get this DVD whenever you want. Not that important.

2 1/2 stars.

Il Grande Silenzio (1968)

A mute gunman with a broomstick Mauser and an unhealthy hate for bounty killers finally meets his match in a psychotic bounty killer out to get a group of exiled Mormons with a bounty on their head in the snowy mountains of Utah.

This is one, if not considered THE best spaghetti western ever made and one of Serge Corbucci's finest works, easily edging out the other movie he's better known for, Django. If you're expecting tall silent man strolling into town to save the day get the girl and or large amount of moolah while smoking a whole box of cigars along the way, this is totally not the movie for you. After the first scene, it's all down hill from there. The snowy hills and embankments easily frame the cynicism and nihilism that is the come. Klaus Kinski plays his part as Loco to a tee. Psychotic, yet practical in how matter of fact he is about the business he's in. This is followed with the silent brilliance of Jean-Louis Trintignant as Silence. Jean-Louis does a magnificent job conveying emotion without speaking a word. Add to this Luigi Pistilli as the sinister banker, the lovely Vonetta McGee and the godly Morricone soundtrack to make this film a solid picture worthy of future showings.

A lot of films where inspired by Great Silence after it was shown. From horror movies like Bava's Black Sabbath, De Toth's Day of The Outlaw to some of Clint Eastwood's movies like Hang 'em High and Pale Rider. Corbucci's influence stealthily reached throughout the western genre as well as others throughout the years.

The DVD is magnificent. Very good quality sound. Very crisp video. You've got director Alex Cox (Repo Man) doing an intro/ discussion of the movie as well as commentary over extra footage. A Real good buy for the general movie fan. A must for the collection.

4 stars.

Commercial Break

Hey all.

I just wanted to thank I Spit On Your Movie for giving the link love. I'm a big fan of the site, and try to read as much as I can. I'm just a humble movie fan having a good time. I hope you guys are having fun too. Feel free to give suggestions and advice as well as critiques. I do enjoy conversations.

Thanks.

Take A Hard Ride (1975)

A former cattle rustler makes a promise to his dead cattle boss that he'll take his earnings back home. He is later joined by a card shark, a prostitute and a halfbreed martial artist as he is chased by a bounty hunter and a cadre of mercs.

I've always been a fan of Margheriti, or in this case, Tony Dawson. I find it interesting that he would try to interlink the Blaxsploitation and the Spaghetti Western sub genres together. It's an amazing effort. The cast was interesting as well. Fred Wiliamson solidifies himself as one of the Lords of Blaxploitation as well as possibly hinting that his character, Tyree, could have possibly been the ancestor of Tommy Gibbs. While it feels a bit substandard, Lee Van Cleef also does an impressive job as the Bounty Hunter. This is all encompassed by a Jerry Goldsmith soundtrack. Very good stuff.

I do think the fight choreography was a bit lacking. I mean. yeah, Brown and Williamson has a knockdown, drag out style, but it really made Jim Kelly look slow. I don't know. Maybe it's me and maybe the only time I saw Kelly was in Enter The Dragon. Just a sharp contrast between Hong Kong and Euro stunt groups I guess. While this movie worked on a simplistic design, I do wish there was a bit more detail to characters. I'm glad Williamson tried to make his character stand out, but all the rest needed something to work with then one simple goal. All this made the ending feel less then the whole movie. It made you wonder if that was it or what. Like you built a train track to the middle of a field.

There's not much on the DVD. Just a trailer and some audio options. If I were a collector, I'd wait on getting this. Unless I was a genre collector. If you are, I'd walk, not run to get this.

2 1/2 stars.

Da Uomo A Uomo (1967)

A man who witnesses his whole family being slaughtered by bandits as a child finally gets a chance at revenge when a gunman fresh out of jail guns down one of the men and is in search of the others to get his own form of payback.

This is one of Van Cleef's better movies. While John Law does a good job as the main character, and Luigi Pisstilli and Tony Dawson do their tings as baddies, Van Cleef really takes the show. The Morricone score always makes things great. What am I saying? Morricone would even make pornos sound great if he had the chance. He'd make adult diaper commercials awesome. Got to give credit to Giulio Petroni too. He has a very innovative style.

With all that being said, I think the film was awesome...but the DVD sucks cock. Yes, C-O-C-K cock. It was like I had ask my friend to burn me a copy of the movie. In fact, I should of asked him. Picture and sound are both bad. While the interface is simplistic, they added a voice that made me wish it had a face so I could punch it over and over and over again. Whoever made the DVD needs their balls handed to them...PERIOD!!

While again, the movie is awesome, I'd wait until a better DVD was released. Give this a wait for your collection.

Three stars.

R-Point (2004)

Vietnam 1972. The Korean army is receiving SOS calls from one of their units...6 months after they had disappeared. A unit is formed and is sent to the last place where they were seen. An island of the coast known as R-Point.

Very good movie. Kept you on the edge all the time. Beautiful setting and production work really helped set the mood. I think using the Vietnam war really helped with the suspense. Pacing was also great. It's slow/fast fast/slow pacing really disconcerts the viewer and hammers home the fact that there's something wrong, I mean wrong with this island.

I think the only thing really wrong with it is that it sets up several sub stories...and does nothing with them. I mean they literally leave the stories hanging. They get them started, but then the bring the main story in and just leave the sub stories in the dust. I think if they were let to play out, it would have made the movie all the much better.

Any fan of War horrors need to pick this up. It would be great for your collection.

three and a half stars.

Le Corbeau (1943)

Based on a true event, A town is in a grip of terror when a poison pen writer bombards a town with letters telling of their deepest secrets to the world. It is up to a doctor, who has his own dark secret, to stop this madness.

One of the many examples at how horror can be subversive. This was made during the Occupation of France under Continental Pictures, a German run film company. It was directed by Henri-Georges Clouzot, who at the time, was running the scriptwriting department for Continental. To put it short and sweet, it was a movie not only against the informer policies of the Vichy government, but also showed people neither in a good or bad light. The characters were flawed and it's through these flaws that true character comes out. Even though this movie was a blockbuster, it was hated by the left and the right. While the left and The Resistance denounced the movie as being anti-Stalinist, the right was denouncing the film as not only anti-Nazi, but also anti-bourgeois. With so much talk coming from France, the Nazi feared that the picture was a bit too nationalistic for it's own good. This resulted in Clouzot being fired from Continental and tailed until Liberation.

Liberation was an all too different beast. Clouzot was rounded up as a "Nazi Sympathiser" and was judged by the courts. Finding out about the arrest, the French arts community when in full force. Actors, Directors, Intellectuals of capitalist and communist leanings alike when to bat for Clouzot. The champaign saved him his job as a director and shrunk his sentence to a two year sit out from film.

This is a truly remarkable piece of film. I encourage anyone who expresses and interest in film in general to pick up this title. You won't regret it.

4 stars.

The Black Cat (1934)

A young couple find themselves stuck in the path of a vengeful psychiatrist who wants to get back at a demonic architect for taking everything away for him.

Even though Lugosi and Karloff portray their characters very well, the real star is the house. With it's art deco and expressionist touches, mixed with the old war battlements, the house sets give a very surrealist and almost evil feeling to it where "even the phones are dead". Director Edgar Ulmer also plays a grand part. He directed this movie as well as written it very well. The conversations between Lugosi and Karloff are almost like knife fights.

The only fault with this movie is that it's too short. I'm pretty sure things could have been fleshed out a bit more. Maybe more conversations during the chess match or a monologue about how the war has affected them. I think that Karloff's satanic intentions could have been worked upon as well. Almost anything about the characters of Hjalmar and Vitus would have been great.

This is a "have" in your collection. Not only for Lugosi and Karloff, but also for Ulmer, who later on, becomes the forefather of Giallo.

4 stars.

The Raven (1935)

A famous plastic surgeon who has a thing for Edgar Allen Poe, falls in love with one of his patients, whose father is a famous judge. The judge denies this love and the surgeon sends a criminal to do his dirty work as trade to fix his face.

This is the second meeting of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi. I don't know what to say really about this film. It's an alright movie , but it just...it just seems that they're forcefully trying to get back the magic of the actors' first meeting except the roles are reversed. I mean, the story is ok. The story is great, it's just that it just didn't feel like enough was involved.

I think one of the problems is that the screenplay just doesn't offer anything. You got all these Poe analogies and they don't lead anywhere. Oh! You got a pit and pendulum. Oh! Scary. One of the real big problems was that you have this genius who doesn't want to get his hands dirty. He messes up this criminal's face to have him do his biding. "Not to dirty his hands". And then what happens? almost half the murder plan, the surgeon's hand is on the lever. Why even mess with the criminal? He's basically a potted plant until the end.

Even though this is something to be part of the collection, I wouldn't be that eager to buy a copy. If we were getting all the great Universal movies, this is probably the last to pick up.

2 stars

Haxan (1922)

Benjamin Christensen looks at the Witch Hunts of the middle ages and relates it to not only persecution from the Church, but of Hysteria and other mental illnesses.

A lot of people mistake this movie as a horror movie. And a statement can be debated since Christensen does use not only noted actors and actresses in Dutch silent cinema as well as use several forms of special effects. Some newly invented by Christensen and crew. The truth, on the other hand. is that this is a very well thought out documentary on the ignorance involved in a dark chapter of the human race. The special effects serve to show us the fevor and dementia the subjects suffer through. This is what makes the movie unique.

The movie was repackaged in 1968 by Explotationer Anthony Blauch. He gave it a jazz score, shortened the run time and gave it a voice over by Beat artist William Burroughs. Even though this gained new interest in the movie, I'd have to say that the repackage had ruined some of it's luster. Christensen had himself said that this movie would not do well as a talkie. And he was correct. As much as I like Burroughs, his voice over didn't add anything to the movie. The jazz was also completely wrong for some scenes then others. In short, Blauch was playing the movie on only it's uniqueness instead of trying to convey a lesson to all while having fun.

This is something to look out for. Christensen is one of the unsung heroes not only in the fields of Horror or Documentation, but of Film itself. A real jewel to one's collection.

4 stars.

Murders In The Rue Morgue (1932)

An evil doctor uses a carnival to mask his experiments with ape blood on women. A medical student catches wind of his plan and trys to stop him.

This is one of Bela Lugosi's better films. I think it's thanks to director/screenwriter Robert Florey and cinematographer Karl Fruend. Lugosi had experience with both men and was comfortable working with them. To put things simply, it's a German horror film with American funding. You can see it in the set design, in the lighting, the camera work, even the script was a lift from Das Cabinet die Caligari (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) but uses an ape instead of a somnambulist. The trademarks of German Expressionism are there. This makes the movie, somewhat unique for it's time.

There are some flaws to the movie, but I believe these flaws were either out of the hands of the crew or were, at the time, limits to the technology they had. Constant cuts from man in ape suit to chimpanzee is a bit annoying. Florey was irked when he was told to eject some humor into the story to "cut the tension". I was irked too. The most the comedy was bad even for his time. It doesn't work and feels 'horned in at times. This has become somewhat the mark of the Hayes Code at the time.

This is a movie that needs to be in anyone's horror collection. No ands, ifs, or buts. Get it! NOW!

Four stars.

H (2002)

Someone is copying the murders of the serial killer Shin Hyun a year after he's captured. It's up to the Seoul police department to stop the copycat, whoever who they may be.

This movie has a huge influence from Fincher's Se7en (Rainy season, kosai/sempai bonding, killing to stymie sin, etc.) with a dash of Silence of The Lambs (Shin Hyun asked for advice) to boot. What works is that it's very brutal and very shocking. They actors are very good and the cinematography is very well done. The only reason this hadn't sold well in Korea was that marketing at the time decided to released the movie around Christmas time. Yeah, I'm sorta flinching at that too. Who in their right mind believed this was a good idea deserved, I repeat, deserved to be fired from whatever position they were at at the time.

That doesn't mean that this movie was perfect. I think the biggest problem with this thing is how it just plods along. Like it was trying to lead us to someplace meaningful, but whatever ore wherever that place was, it was just to far to go. The anti climatic ending will also leave some people cold, although it's pretty understandable. A lot of people will somehow feel cheated and need time to think about it to truly understand it.

While this movie would be good for your collection, I don't think one is to rush out for it instantly. This is one of those movies you should at least buy at your own leisure.

2 and a half stars.

Psychomania (1971)

The son of a warlock successfully kills himself and comes back from the dead. He then encourages his friends to do the same. They ride together as one undead biker gang.

I think one of things that really stands out with this movie is the soundtrack. The roving guitar adds an element to the movie that you don't see in other English horrors. You also have a very original story that was played almost wonderfully. And they accomplish the whole film without an once of gore. All pure terror. The acting was great as well. There is much detailed performances.

I really can't find anything negative to say about this movie. Sure it's somewhat slow, but there's a good reason to keep it slow in order to better understand the story. Other then that, it's squeaky clean. A real gem of 70's British Cinema.

This should definitely be in your collection. My only suggestion is that you can get this at anytime. The DVD is totally bare bone. Unless a special edition comes out, I'd say get this at your own pace. Enjoy.

3 stars.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Jesus Christ is called upon when the lesbian population of Ottawa begins to dwindle thanks impart to daywalking vampires. Seeing as he might be outnumber, Jesus calls upon the services of The Saint of Wrestlers, El Santo, to help in his cause.

It's a Horror movie! It's a Bollywood movie! An overdubbed kung-fu movie! A religious epic! It's a wrestling movie! Allll rolled into one. JCVH has got to be one of the most weirdest movies I've ever laid eyes on. Made lovingly by a fan of all the genres. Made on a low budget (and I'm talking looow), this film has taken a life of it's own and has found itself on the shelf of many a genre fan. I think what makes it so is that it doesn't take itself seriously. It knows that it's poorly made and that it doesn't have the sheen of a professionally made film. And you know what? It doesn't matter. It is what is. Take it for what it's worth.
All that mattered is that it was made in fun and wasn't expecting such acclaim.

Now many will say "oh, this was poorly done. Oh, this was overdubbed. Oh, the acting was bad." and I say to them "Get a life!!" Who said they were aiming for the Oscar. Again, yes, all this is true....but who cares. Everyone is having fun. Including the viewer. So sit back, relax, get you some popcorn, maybe a nice cold beverage and relax. Have some fun. It won't hurt ya you know.

Definitely something for the collection. A must see and a must own.

two and a half stars.

La Morte cammina con i tacchi alti (1971)

After finding out her diamond thief father was killed and is threaten by his assailant, a cabaret girl runs off with an eye doctor to England to get away. Things go for the worse as she's killed and the doctor is left critically wounded.

When people talk about giallo, they usually mention Argento, Bava, maybe even Lenzi. Nobody mentions Ercoli. This is because Ercoli never did any horror features. He was purely giallo. Most possibly the default King of Giallo. Heels is definitely one of his best works. It is very stylistic in cinematography. The color is very lush and bright. The characters are detailed and the story is very interesting. It seemingly draws you in and puts you on the edge.

Now giallo isn't for everyone. The thing that might get on people's nerves is that it tends to twist and turn three or four ways at a time. You feel that you may have lost something in translation or at least confused after watching. That's perfectly okay. Giallo, I think, is an acquired taste. You have to learn to like it sometimes.

If you're a big mystery fan, you'll love it. It would also fit well in your collect. But I must tell you that you can not watch this in one sitting all quick like. This film demands your attention and should be watched on a day when you have nothing to do an there is almost no disturbance. I believe it will be a more enjoyable experience.

three stars.

Vampyres (1974)

A traveler and a couple realize they are in the presense of a vampiric lesbian couple who snatch men off the street and feed upon them.

First things first. When has it been acceptable to use someones front yard as a camping area? Honestly? That is possibly the first plot hole I never got. Other then that, if you're are looking for a plot in this movie, forgive me for laughing in your face. Hard. This thing is pure grade A cheesy sexploitation. Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Here, if it's any concession, I'll tel you the plot. Sex, sex, sex, wine, wine, blood, sex sex, a little rest, sex, sex, sex, blood, blood, blood, wine, wine, wine, sex, sex. You get the picture. The plot's so thin, Qui Chang Kang had to walk across it to become a shoulin monk.

Now not to sound like a grumpy gus, there are some good things to this movie. Two pair to be exact. I kid. I kid. Honestly though, the ladies were lovely and played their parts wonderfully. Also, the guy behind the camera was Harry Waxman. He's was also the cinematographer for The Wicker Man. His work behind the lens for this movie definitely flourishes. Lush English forests and decrepit old manors are all the more detailed thanks to Waxman.

If you need to get this movie, that's cool. Horror completest (see! Learned a new word.) would enjoy it. Just remember, if your girl or your wife catches you watching it, tell them it's for the Waxman. Otherwise, it's for the boobies.

2 and a half stars.

Equinox (1967)

A mental patient recounts how he and his friends found themselves at the the foot of an inter dimensional portal and how they confront the horrors that it contained.

What do you get when a bunch of teens get together with $6,500 and help from author Fritz Lieber and Forrest Ackerman AKA The Ackermonster AKA Dr. Ackula? This movie. A budget monster movie that shows off the talents of Dennis Muren, who later would do the effects for movies such as Star Wars, Willow, Jurassic Park and other big budget, high effect movies. It was later picked up by a small production company and expanded into a feature film. This is a basic love letter to Harryhausen as well as other stop motion animators. Very Fun stuff. It is also rumored to inspire the Evil Dead movies, though I really doubt it.

The only downside to the movie is that it takes a while to get into second gear. Scriptwriting wasn't their strong side. Neither was pacing. It would start slow, get some pace, get slow again and then take off too fast into the tree. They would use a Theramin like it was going out of style and it would get annoying after a while.

With all it's flaws, this is one of my favorites out of my collection. It's one of those movies that...feels unique. Yes it seems amature but everyone was having fun at what they were doing. I highly recommend adding this to your collection. You won't regret it. something to watch with everyone I think.

3 stars.

Nudo e Selvaggio (1985)

A plane crashes deep within the Amazon Jungle and the passengers must fight the wilds of the accursed Dinosaur Valley to survive.

This movie was one of many of Indiana Jones ripoffs that started in...I believe 1984. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm humble. This movie is more on the higher level of those ripoffs. I think mainly because at the time...they were tying the last of the "Jungle Cannibal" sub genre to this movie. Try to gets an extra couple bucks out of it. Anyways, this movie has everything. Piranha, quicksand, headhunting natives, white slavery, y'know, everything you like in a Jungle Action movie.

a real nice touch is the Simonetti soundtrack. You're so used to big piping moogs and loud guitars, that you don't realize the range of the composer. Lots of nice Caribbean and Brazilian vibes going with the score. I also would like to point out that this might be the best movie of Mike Sopkiw, one of the many cult actors of the Italo-sploitation cinema.

So while yes, some of the dub is really corny and yes, the characters and effects are cheesy, this is a real nice movie. Real enjoyable for serious or even a laugh. I think you'd like it if you're a big "Jungle Peril" fan.

Three stars.

Shiryo no Wana (1988)

A Reporter gets a snuff movie via mail and decides to trace it. Her search leads her to an abandoned factory, not knowing a psycho killer is at large.

It doesn't take a genius to know that this is japan's version of what a Dario Argento movie looks like to them. From the gruesome murders to the music, it somewhat has Dario's fingerprints on them. That's cool. Nothing wrong with paying homage to the ones who inspire you. In fact, that's the thing that makes it great. It's a valiant effort.

What shuts it down is the last 45 minutes. I mean, yeah, try to tie it up, but do you wanna tie it up that way? It all feels rushed and listless in where you want the movie to go. This was totally breakfast meeting material. Walks in the park could have come up with better material then this. Not that I'm against leaving the audience going "WTF?" at the end, but geez, can we just anchor it a little better then what you put out. It makes everyone feel cheated.

While this is a cornerstone for J-Horror Cinema, I don't think one should put out an effort yet to search this out. If you must get it, make sure you get the essentials before it. Like Gojira and Tetsuo.

2 stars.

Shadow of The Vampire (2000)

F.W. Murnau partakes in a great experiment. Filming a vampire movie with an actual vampire. Things don't turn out the way he wants them to.

I love this movie. It's nicely paced and the characters are detailed. I totally loved the chemistry between Defoe (as Orlok) and Malkovich (as Murnau). You actually believe there is a tension there. What is really interesting is that they built the story around the simple mythology of Max Shrek. Even though it is a psudonem, the acting of the actor is so great, you really have to ask yourself if there is more to it then just a name. Another the thing that makes the movie is the score. The music mirrors the film music you might hear from 1920's music. The sets are awesome as well as the direction of Herr Merhige, a specialist in silent cinema.

If there is anything bad about it, it has to be the pacing. It starts great at first, but when it gets close to the end, it feels kinda rushed. In story as well. I can easily see this as a three hour movie, but I guess they had limitations and had to work with what they had. Come to think of it, other parts needed to be fleshed out as well.

This is definitely a movie to get for your collection if you are a horror fan. It's also a movie you can put in at any time to impress friends. An essential in the 21st Century.

Four Stars.

Wolfen (1981)

Based on a novel by Whitley Striber, The murder of an industrialist and his wife takes a detective out of retirement and leads him to confront an ancient force.

First of all, let me get this out of the way. This isn't a "werewolf" movie. Yes, it was released during a small werewolf revival (The Howling, American Werewolf In London), but it is not a werewolf movie. If I were to put this movie in a sub-genre, it would have to be a "Mythic Beings" or an "Old Ones" sub-genre. Because of this, I think people thought they got ripped and gave bad word of mouth. That's why there was low turnout and gave this a cult aura. Do I blame the folks? Not one bit.

Anyways, this was a nice paced movie covering original material. The characters was well fleshed and there was great chemistry. Especially Albert Finney and Greg Hines. The location was awesome, especially the abandoned church. It also works the fx to a minimum. The special "wolf cam" really works. OH! Before I forget, Tom Waits has a cameo in this movie.

The only negative I can come up with is continuity errors in some areas. There are some areas that really make you go "Huh?" Somethings were forced, but are really forgettable. That's it.

This is definitely a must own for horror fans. If not a fan of Horror, a wolf movie fan then. If you're not a fan of wolves, then it's for pubic wig movie fans.

3 stars

Hell of The Living Dead (1980)

A military unit is sent to New Guinea to shut down a faulty chemical plant and run into a couple of journalists sent to cover the plant as well as flesh eating zombies.

Dubbed "the worst zombie movie ever", it really shows. There is liberal uses of stock footage, a soundtrack ripped from Goblin's Dawn of The Dead score as well as concepts and costumes. Let's not beat around the bush, it's Dawn of The Dead in New Guinea. Even the makeup fx is bad. It's like they took a bunch of crap and just put it on their face and started to walk slow. "Look at me. I'm like walking slow with crap on my face. I'm so like a zombie!" Cut to stock footage of elephants. Oh look! Boobies! Cut to stock footage of humming birds. "AAGGHHHH! I'm Totally getting attacked by a zombie!! AAAGGGHH!!" Cut to stock footage of Batman. That's almost the whole movie right there. Cut to stock footage of Leave It To Beaver.

Now, just by saying it's bad, doesn't mean it's a complete wash. Franco Garofalo does his best to work with the material given to him and the people he's working with, thus making him one of the more intriguing characters of the film. And there's boobies. And....yeah. That's it.

This movie would be good if you're really bored or you and friends want to have a laugh or two. Otherwise, if you're a collector, get this when your financially tight.

Two stars.

Bad Dreams (1988)

A survivor of a mass cult suicide awakens from a thirteen year coma. She tries to get her life back together in a psychiatric ward. Then patients start committing suicide which really has the survivor wondering if she's really safe from the grasp of the cult.

This was a fun film. While it is a bit dated, it's still somewhat watchable. Bruce Abbot, Rich Lynch, Dean Cameron (especially Dean) really make this film work. The effects were interesting to say the least. One of them got me jumping out of my seat. I really liked the story. It was very original for it's time. A great first effort from director Andrew Fleming.

With that said. it's still looks like a freshman effort. There are plot holes and continuity errors all over the place. Not big enough to drive semis through, but noticeable still. There are some forced "homages". I don't understand why these happen really. If I'm making an alien flick, I'm not going to shoehorn in Psycho or Vertigo or even 2000 Maniacs reference. Why? Because I'm making an alien film, I'm not making a psycho killer movie. I think Fleming has very bad taste in music, so the score wasn't very appealing.

Again, it's still an enjoyable movie. It's a Sunday afternoon kinda fare. Something to watch to pass the day with. Hell, play it when days are slow. I'd also recommend it to friends.

Three stars.

La Bete (1975)

An upper class American woman is set to marry the son of French aristocracy, but there seems to be some secrets being kept back by the family. Secrets that might go way back.

Borowczyk has got to be one of the most underrated directors of the 70's. One would never know that this French sexplotation is a satire on aristocratic behavior tied into ancient sexual imagery. The movie, thought to be of the horror genre is actually a comedy. The character so satrirical cutting, it was banned for 25 years by the British.

The movie starts and ends with vivid, startling imagery. The camerawork is not only important but shines. They help get the movie's points across very well. The pacing can be long in some areas, but they're long for a reason. They tell the story. The level of suspense is at a modocrum, but it's still there. It's like being at a big birthday bash...and you're about to surprise the guest of honor but he shows up an hour late. Now, your wonder "Where has he gone for that hour.", but you don't worry about it that much because hey! You're partying hearty!! That's what the suspense feels like.

Now, I'm not going to lie to you. Not everyone is a fan. If I were to pop this in to people who don't know what they were in for, they would strangle you afterwards. Plain and simple. If their not looking, their being creeped out by it. Do I blame them? Nah. Not really. Too much powerful images can do that.

My verdict? I'd say this would be a great Midnight Madness type movie you can offer your friends. It also be good for late night viewings.

Four Stars.

C.H.U.D. (1984)

A group of individuals find out that a string of missing person reports is the result of mutated underground homeless people.

I like this movie. It was a lot of fun watching it. I enjoyed the original characters and the awesome storyline. It flowed nicely and was great until it hit a couple bumps near the end. What's real great is that this movie really weathered the test of time. You can pop it in every once in a while and it'll still be great. Another thing I like is the cameo appearances of other actors in this movie. Pat Richardson and John Goodman among others make you go "Oh wow! They were in that?"

With that said, this picture does have some faults. Some scenes totally didn't make any sense. There was a lot of lose ends including a big one. There was also some scenes in the movie that was done just to do special effects. Stuff that made you go "oh wow" when you first saw it, then upon 3rd or 4th viewings your asking yourself "Why is this shit on here in the first place and how is it relevant to the story at large?" The CHUDs seemed rubbery ass well but that's the only point everyone can overlook. It's the thought that counts really.

Overall. It's a really good story. Great characters. Really good script. I'd say the best time to watch this movie is anytime. It's that versatile. Impress your friends. Scare your kids. Scare your mate closer. It's all good.

Three and a half stars.

Hey All

I'm sorry for the delay. I've been on vacation. New posts coming soon.

Zinda Laash (1967)

A scientist creates an elixir of life only to find out after testing it out, that it has turned him into a vampire.

This is the Pakistani version of Dracula. It is also the first film in Pakistan to gain an "X" rating and a warning to never try this genre again. A very valiant effort by the production company to take the Dracula story and make it their own. Pakistan has no version of the vampire myth so this movie was especially challenging to make. In the end, they have managed to shock audiences as well as bringing them to theatres in droves.

This film was almost lost due to cesor issues and general wear and tear. Thankfully, Mondo Macabro went above and beyond to restore and clean it to an almost miraculous effect. One of things that makes it work is the cinematography. It was a mixture of Karl Freund, F.W. Murnau and Terence Fisher. Very expressionistic.

Even though this is a straight up horror movie, some of it might confuse and turn off the more western audiences. Some of the film score doesn't work in some scenes. Plus the song and dance numbers might throw off some folk, but given the context, actually works in the film. So if you can keep in mind that this is a Pakistani film, you'll definitely enjoy it.

This is definitely a movie to own if your a horror, vampire or heck, even if you're a movie fan. This is a testament to the cinematic curiosity and the ability to try things out. I also highly recommend the commentary and essays done by critic and South Asian film historian Omar Kahn on the disc. Very informative and entertaining.

And Chum Chum is HAWT!!

Five Stars!!

Visiting Hours (1982)

After defending an abused woman, a journalist is attacked at her home by a psychotic misogynist. After being saved, the journalist is rushed to the hospital. Little does she know that the psycho has decided to finish the job.

I thought this would be a low rent job, done to ride the coattails of Halloween 2, but it actually stands on it's own two legs. The characters have a bit of detail to them. Michael Ironside is freakin brilliant as the baddie. Every movement he makes has this aura of menace to it. From playing with his stress ball to giving subtle glances to the city girl. All pure Menace.

Another cool thing about the movie is the Canadian feel of the movie. Yes it was distributed by Fox, but the colors are more brighter then usual. The scenes are set up differently as well. I don't know. There's a Canadian..."Presence" to it.

There are some holes in the movie. Areas that are supposed to be populated aren't, some people can't put two and two together, some situations that aren't supposed to happen, happen. I think people can overlook all these holes because the plot is so solid.

I think this is defiantly a buy purchase. Will go great with your collection and is defiantly one to pull out once in a while to enjoy.

Three and a half stars.

Escalofrio (1977)

A beautiful couple meet people who seem to be distant college friends and are invited to their country mansion. Once there, the couple slowly find out their hosts are Satanists.

Now, I'm not going to lie to you. This is a eurotrash sexploitation flick. In fact, it was one of the first films to pick up Spain's "S" (Sex) label that was instituted after Franco's death. What makes the movie above the rest is the constant atmosphere of something that isn't right. And while this was considered a hard core horror movie, the slim budget used to make the picture gave them no room for very little gore. This gave them more interest and time to concentrate on disturbing imagery.

That being said, there are some weaknesses to the movie. Mainly it didn't know what version of "Satanism" it wanted to be. One minute it's cribbing LeVey, another minute Alistair Crowley, then it goes Dennis Wheatley, then it's Montague Summers, Catholic texts and rhetoric, Mad Magazine. By the end of the movie, it's so all over the place, you need to take an aspirin just to recover from it.

This leads us to another weakness. I don't think the director, Carlos Puerto, knew what the hell he was doing. I think he wrote out my first paragraph of this review and just went with it. "Mariana! We need you to look more terrifying! Stoop over that bowl and pretend to eat like a dog! WAIT! Someone get some blood goop on her lip. Yeeessss. Very nice. Ok. Ready! Camera! ACTION!!" I mean it's almost ridiculous. He trys to get too much in so little time. It just bunches up and falls over itself.

All in all, it's a nice film to own. Something to watch on Sundays or days that seem to drag on. Not a classic by any means, but fun none the less. Plus you can wank to it.

Two and a half stars.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

A British squadron finds themselves in a bit of trouble when an exercise goes wrong thanks to the appearance of werewolves.

This is a very solid movie. Lot's of action. Lot's of characterization. Keeps you riveted every minute and on the edge of your seat. Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd & Liam Cunningham really make the characters work. They have a nice supporting cast as well.

It's basically like Evil Dead. A great evil in the wilderness taking out people stranded in the middle one by one. One of the major points that makes it work is that the production crew opted to make the werewolves out of men in suits instead of CGI. A bold move seen by the movie community. But really, how is this a bold move? When you see a CG werewolf, are you going to say "That's a Fuckin Werewolf!! Get Me The Fuck Away!!"? No. You're going to say "My god. That's some nice computer animation." By opting for MiS tactics, not only does it give the movie a level of believability, but it saves them a lot of money so they can buy blood and guts. Something the film community fails to understand.

All in all, this a great movie that will find itself in the classics pile as well as considered one of the best Werewolf movies ever. See this with friends or at a party. It's also great to watch home...alone.

Three stars.

Chrome And Hot Leather (1971)

"Gabriel.... Gabriel, can't you see we're menacing someone?"

A Green Beret returns home to find out that his fiancee has been murdered by a biker gang. He gathers his friends and fellow members of his platoon set out undercover to find the gang and bring them to justice.

As a revenge movie, this is very clinical. It's like watching Col Sam Flagg from MASH get a bunch of his buddies together, get bikes and clothes they think biker gangs wear and try to infiltrate them. If I were a real biker, I'd play along and lead them the wrong way. There are real Wingtip Hippie moments.

Speaking of biker gangs, if you want your biker gang to look mean, you don't have the lead biker (played by William Smith) say "Maybe we should wait for the cops!" after one of your bikers run a car off the road. William Smith really tried to make his character at least look mean, but you end up liking the guy. I mean it. You're rooting for William to really rough up Tony Young's character. The guy is as square as he gets! Hit him Will!!

This all leads up to the climax of Biker vs. Green Beret in a series of canyons. Well...really it's more like bikers go to the canyons to have fun and get ambushed by Green Berets with tear gas followed by edged hands and really ridiculous punches. Seriously, if you wanted a slam bang climax, wouldn't it be wise to at least give the bikers a chance to at least throw one punch? If the message this movie was conveying was biker gangs are bad, it failed miserably. It more likely told the audience that Green Berets are dicks.

The only good parts in this movie besides William Smith is the subplot with Gabriel, the pinball wizard and Marvin Gaye playing a Green Beret (I'm a poet and don't know it!). This movie is pretty much something to watch on a Sunday when nothing on and you don't want to go back to bed.

I give this two stars.